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cop stories? This just happened to me minutes ago.

>On my way home from work.
>Driving 50 in a 45, light ahead turns yellow.
>Know I should stop, it's still a bit away.
>Fuck it, there's literally 0 chance of me hitting anyone.
>Drive through the red going 50.
>See cop flip his lights on in my rear view mirror.
>He was turning left into my lane.
>Has at least three other cars in front of him in both turning lanes.
>I have a fair lead on him.
>Speed up a bit and figure he'll give up.
>Few seconds later
>Holy FUCK he's gaining on me this dude means business.
>Quickly closing the gap and I'll have to slow down.
>He'll soon be too close for me to use the "I didn't know you were following me" line.
>This particular road is very hilly.
>Suddenly he disappear in my mirror.
>If I can't see him he can't see me.
>Slam on breaks and make an immediate right into random neighborhood.
>Drive few houses down and pull into a random driveway next to a big truck.
>Turn my car off and lay low.
>Cop reaches the turn, he's slowed way the fuck down.
>Pulls off to the side of the road for 30 seconds.
>Turns off his lights and drives away.
I'm still shaking d. Who knows what he'd have slammed me with if he caught me. Evading an officer or some shit I'm sure.

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ITT: Weird shit you think only you do.

>keep orange/tangerine peels around for a little while so I can sniff them and mess around with them
>sit in the back of the shower for a minute or so before actually getting wet and taking a shower
>dip Red Hot Cheetos into peanut butter and eat it
>use a fork to skewer Oreos to dip them in milk without getting my fingers wet
>randomly pull my dick out and fap like crazy for a couple minutes before stopping and resuming whatever I was doing
>watch two or more things at once, switching between them every few minutes
>would rather worship/eat a thicc girl's ass (like pic relsted) for a for as long as I want instead of actually having sex, especially if said ass is unshaven and dirty

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How to generate "Nerve Gas" 101

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